I love creating weddings that are personal and meaningful and I try to make each ceremony a warm, happy and memorable occasion for all.

I have celebrated lots of different kinds of humanist weddings – everything from a very informal wedding in a stone circle on the South Downs with folk dancing and sheep to very formal weddings in Cambridge colleges with black ties and ball gowns.

It is a huge privilege to work with couples to make a ceremony that is just right for them and usually a lot of fun too!

What makes a wedding ceremony Humanist?

Humanism is a broad spectrum but generally speaking a humanist wedding ceremony assumes that the two partners marrying share an understanding of the following:

– that this is the only life there is and that it is our responsibility to live our one life as best we can, using our talents and resources for the benefit of all and to protect our planet for future generations

– that a humanist marriage is one between two equal partners who love and respect each other as individuals and are prepared to allow each other space to grow

– that marriage is embedded within a family/community

But how explicit you want to make this is up to you. Most people who approach me are humanist with a small ‘h’ and are usually surprised to find, once we have started talking, that they are humanists with a capital ‘H’ as well. However, I aim to make ceremonies inclusive of all the guests whatever their understanding of our place in the world. So if you have family or friends who are religious it is fine to acknowledge this and to leave a space in the service for private reflection/prayer.

Working together to make a ceremony – the process

The first step is to contact me by e-mail or by phone, ideally with a provisional date for your wedding. I will then send you further information about myself, humanist wedding ceremonies and the way I generally work.

Having looked at this, if you decide you would like to take things further, we have a short initial meeting or telephone call with no obligation on either side. You can have a look at me, decide whether I am the right sort of celebrant for you and ask any questions you may have. I do not charge for this initial meeting. At the end of this meeting or shortly afterwards you can let me know if you would like me to be your celebrant. If you want to go ahead with me I will then reserve the date of your wedding.

If you decide to go ahead we’ll meet again and start to discuss what you want your wedding ceremony to look like and what you’d like my role to be. We’ll discuss what you and your partner want to say to each other and your guests about yourselves and your marriage and the role of the Celebrant. At this meeting I’ll also be starting to gather information about you, your families and what marriage means to you and I’ll be asking you to start thinking about the shape of the ceremony.

The joy of a humanist ceremony is that the boundaries are fairly flexible. It can be as long or as short as you like. It can include poems, music, dancing and ritual or none of these things – as you wish.

Unfortunately, a humanist wedding ceremony is not yet a legal ceremony in England or Wales (only in Scotland!) so if you wish to be married legally you will need to have a legal ceremony with an official registrar at some point as well. The positive side of this is that there are no legal constraints on what constitutes a humanist wedding ceremony. Nothing you have to do or say.

Using the material gathered at the planning meeting I will then write a draft wedding script for you to approve and then later a second draft to incorporate any changes you would like to make. Generally these changes can discussed using e-mail or over the phone but we can usually have a second meeting if required.

Shortly before the wedding it is generally a good idea to have a rehearsal of the ceremony with as many of the key participants attending as possible.  This gives us an opportunity to iron out any technical problems and rehearse the delivery of any songs/music/ poetry/ritual in the ceremony space. This helps everything to run smoothly on the day.

On the day of the ceremony …

I will arrive early, meet the key participants, and quietly prepare myself for the wedding.

After the ceremony generally stay around for a little while in case anyone wants to take photos or talk about the ceremony, but I do not generally stay for the rest of the celebrations.

Fees

The fee that I charge for a ceremony is £550. The fee covers our initial meeting (and any subsequent meetings we think are necessary), my travel expenses, a rehearsal at the location a day or two before the wedding and the preparation and delivery of the ceremony

I ask that fees are paid by bank transfer a few days before the ceremony.

 

The next step

If you would like to talk about a humanist wedding ceremony please do make contact.

ann.hislop@ntlworld.com
M: 07773119050