A funeral is an opportunity to honour the person who has died, to celebrate their life, share memories and express love and respect. When we die we live on through other people’s memories of us – those people we care about, those we have known, those on whom we have made an impression.

For people who have chosen to live without religion, it is important that we celebrate that life with honesty, warmth and affection using words and music that are personal and appropriate.  My commitment is to do my utmost to ensure that the funeral reflects those values.

You can find more about Humanist funerals in general including a video about them here

A funeral is a powerful and important way of coming to terms with a death.  We are all different.  Each person will have a different way of coping with their loss.  My job is to work with you to create a ceremony that is as close as possible to what you want, will help you at this difficult time, encourage you to remember the good times and signpost a positive future.

A non-religious funeral starts with a blank page. There is no fixed structure or order of ceremony.

I will meet with you at your home or online or, if necessary, on the telephone.  You may like friends or family members to join us.  I will listen.  I will have lots of questions but, most importantly, I will be listening to what you have to say.  I’ll help you to decide how you want the ceremony to be structured and what you want included.  Most important of all, I will want to know as much as I can about the person who has died.  I will ask you to tell me everything you can about their life, their loves, their concerns, their enthusiasms, anecdotes that reflect their character and personality, in fact, everything that made them the special person they were.

We’ll talk, as well, about the family. We’ll talk about what might be appropriate. We’ll talk about what might be possible. Many families find that the discussion, the sharing of memories and the planning of the ceremony together like this can bring some comfort and make a really helpful contribution to the process of coming to terms with their loss.

Together we’ll create the outline of an appropriate ceremony including who else might speak, suitable music, readings and some practical details about an order of service, a collection at the end and so on.

I will gather many pages of notes and fit everything together to make a coherent ceremony. A tribute is always a central part of the funeral so I will ask you to check my draft to ensure that everything is accurate and just how you want it to be.

During this period, I will also liaise with the funeral director and any other interested parties to make sure every detail has been thought of and sorted out.  I will minimise the stress you are under that day as far as I possibly can.

On the day of the funeral I will arrive before the mourners, check that everything about the room is appropriate and that the music is downloaded and ready.  I’ll deal with any last-minute issues.

I will conduct the funeral, supporting those who speak, if necessary.

                          Thank you for yesterday, you were brilliant and we’re all so thankful we went with you for the service                                   Michelle October 2020

The ceremony, particularly the tribute,  has the potential to be valuable to family members in the future.  So after the funeral or a day or two later, I will give you a presentation print out of the funeral script.  In addition, if you wish, I will upload the tribute together with any photographs you would like to put with it to the Humanists UK Online Archive.  You can read more about the archive here.

My charge, which is all inclusive, is £200.  This is usually paid as part of the Funeral Director’s bill.