Ritual can be an important part of the grieving process, and, for those without a religious framework, this can be lost. A humanist funeral provides this ritual without references that may be inappropriate for those without religion.

A humanist funeral can be a burial or a cremation and can take place almost anywhere, just like a religious funeral. While most funerals are held in crematorium chapels, this is not compulsory. More and more people are holding funerals in different settings such as village halls, art galleries, and even cinemas.

Ceremonies usually involve music, poems or other relevant readings, and a tribute to the life of the person who has died, but this does not have to be the case. A funeral ceremony can consist entirely of music, or tributes from friends and family, or perhaps group singing.

The celebrant can read the whole ceremony or other people may want to do readings and their own tributes. There is no right or wrong, just whatever is best for the family concerned.

Some families know exactly what music and readings they would like, while others prefer to be guided by the celebrant. Again, there is no right or wrong way to do it and I am happy to work with families to create the best ceremony that we can.

Sometimes, it can be the extra little touches which make the ceremony: laying rosemary on the coffin; everyone having a shot of the deceased’s favourite tipple; or a recorder solo from a grandchild. You may have suggestions of your own for something like this, or it may be something which comes out of our discussions.

I want those arranging the funeral to feel in control of the day and empowered to make choices about what would work best for them, rather than feeling as though they are on a conveyor belt of other people’s assumptions.