Introduction

A funeral or memorial ceremony is a significant and sensitive event. It’s an opportunity to bring people together to say “farewell” to a loved one, and to express and share loss and sadness

But it is also an occasion for acknowledging and celebrating a person’s life, personality, and achievements, and all that the person has meant and continues to mean.

I place great emphasis on supporting people to bring together a beautiful and dignified ceremony which achieves just the right “tone” to match people’s thoughts and feelings, and the appropriate words, music, and symbolism to celebrate their loved one’s unique life and personality.

As a Humanist Celebrant I focus principally on non-religious ceremonies, but I am sensitive to the diversity and complexity of beliefs and perspectives within family and social groups, and therefore take an inclusive approach to the planning of the funeral ceremony.

 

Experience

I bring to the work as funeral celebrant a deep empathy with people, and the highly developed “attentive listening” skills which I have honed through many years professional experience in health and social care, including mental health, and which I continue to exercise through the provision of humanist/non-religious pastoral support for patients and staff in a hospital setting.

 

Planning the ceremony

If you decide to use my services I shall:

  • have an initial telephone conversation with you to agree a face-to-face meeting;
  • meet with you and other close family members and friends of your loved one, as appropriate; through sharing information, listening to your stories, memories, and reflections, and looking at photographs and objects I will build up, as full as possible, a portrait of the person who has died, and what made the person special for you and for those who will be attending the ceremony;
  • discuss with you the ”tone” of the ceremony, and how to achieve the right balance between celebrating your loved one’s achievements and personality, while acknowledging and respecting the loss and sadness;
  • talk through with you ideas for what to include in the ceremony (music, readings, poetry, significant objects or rituals);
  • discuss who might write and read Tributes or other parts of the ceremony;
  • explain the practicalities around the ceremony, what needs to be done in preparation, and what happens on the day;
  • draft a “script” for the ceremony, and send it to you for correction, revision, and approval;
  • conduct the ceremony with professionalism and sensitivity;
  • prepare a presentation “script” which you may keep as a memorial of the life you have celebrated.

 

The Ceremony

I cannot emphasise enough that my role is to help you put together a ceremony, which reflects the uniqueness of your loved one – but this may be a completely unfamiliar task for you, and I can provide support, suggestions and resources as necessary.

As a general guide, the ceremony is likely to include the following elements, some of which may be in the form of readings or poetry of your choice:

  • opening music;
  • welcome and introduction;
  • tributes;
  • a short period of silent reflection, possibly including some music;
  • final farewell / committal;
  • closing words;

Being invited to act as a Funeral or Memorial Celebrant is a great privilege, and I would

have a total focus on gaining a detailed and clear understanding of your loved one, and developing and presenting a ceremony which truly reflects the diversity and uniqueness of their life.

 

Planning Ahead

Some people like to plan ahead and prepare their own funeral or memorial ceremonies. I would be happy to work with you if you would like to take this approach.

 

LGBTQ Communities

I am experienced in working with, and in providing a service for, members of the LGBT+ communities.