CELEBRATING A LIFE…

As Humanists, we understand that every life is unique and important – not only to the person living it, but to those that they connect with throughout it’s span. When that life comes to an end, we wish to acknowledge the person with whom we shared the journey – no matter for what portion of our own – and mark their death and our own need to move on.

Funerals are a very specific form of a goodbye; A sharing of grief, sadness, and sometimes relief and a range of other powerful emotions with others. I will help you to create a ceremony that celebrates – in the most appropriate way possible – the life of the person concerned. Through tributes, music, poetry and other readings we will create a ritual that best befits and honours their unique life.

For people who had no religious beliefs or affiliations, a church or theistic funeral would not be appropriate. Every life is unique, and every individual should have the choice of being remembered and honoured as the person they were, without reference to an “external power” that may have meant little to them while they lived. You can plan a Humanist Ceremony even if you, or your loved one wouldn’t have defined themselves as a Humanist; the ceremony focuses on the life and times of the person concerned and celebrates all that was so special about them.

There is nothing in a Humanist Funeral which would offend a person of faith; we celebrate the life of the person you are commemorating in a manner that reflects them. The content we devise for the ceremony will, hopefully, bring comfort, support and even a smile or two as precious memories are recalled. We often build into the ceremony a space in which those of a religious belief can say a silent prayer.

 

You can contact me directly to organise the ceremony, or ask that your Funeral Director do so on your behalf. Either way, we will arrange for a “Family Visit” with anyone who has an interest in creating the ceremony. At this visit, we will discuss the life of the person concerned; their history, likes, loves and learnings. You can share photographs or other trophies of the person’s life, and we will discuss what you wish to be included in the ceremony in terms of readings, music and other additions. This meeting will usually last around an hour to an hour and a half. If anyone wishes to give a reading, sing a song or offer any other tribute, this can be discussed and planned for at this time.

 

As a CoVid19 safe approach, the family visit can be done via phone calls, or more often, through ‘Zoom’, Google Meet or Microsoft ‘Teams’. We can discuss the best option for your situation during our first contact – which will be from me via a phone call. Whether our initial contact is initiated by you or through a Funeral Director, I will call to arrange a suitable time for the discussion.

 

Many people find that this process of working through the life history of the deceased person, discussing aspects of their life or specific incidents, recalling favourite moments or pieces of music, is an important step in the grieving process. It can really help in coming to terms with the death, and remembering the person for who they were and what they meant to those around them.

I will then write out a draft of the ceremony, and a tribute to the life of the person concerned. The Tribute usually takes the main part of the ceremony, as it is a remembrance and celebration of the life lived. I will then email (or post, depending on preferences and timescale) a draft of the tribute to you for reference and corrections. I will liaise with the Funeral Director with regards to the shape of the ceremony, timings and the use of any music, pictures, videos and so forth. Most crematoria now have the facilities to webcast the ceremony for those unable to attend. We can discuss this during our meeting too. Should anyone wish to give a tribute or reading, I can be on hand to coach them with this as well should they feel that they need that – and to step in should they not feel up to it on the day!

On the day I will arrive at the venue ahead of time to check that all is in place and that any music is ready. I will greet the mourners and the Funeral Director and then conduct the ceremony. During the ceremony I will be on hand to help and support anyone who has expressed a wish to contribute to the ceremony, and offer whatever guidance they might need.

After the ceremony, I will offer you a presentation copy of the text of the funeral, including all of the readings and the tribute.  There is also the opportunity to have the main tribute added to a searchable online tribute library so that people who maybe could not attend – or future generations – can access the life story of your loved ones. You can read more about this archive here. There is no further charge for either of these facilities.

My fee for all of this is £200, which can be paid direct or, more often, is paid through the Funeral Director’s account.

You can phone me direct on 0781 5531355 or use the form below.