What happens when I contact you?

When creating a funeral, memorial or ashes scattering ceremony

I am very approachable, calm, and a good listener, and will try to make the whole process as smooth and clear as possible. When someone is in grief it can often be difficult to process information. I will always take things at your pace and will make suggestions – for example, if you are struggling to choose poems or music for the ceremony.

So, what can you expect from me?

First call

You may contact me directly or through the Funeral Director, if the later, I will call you as soon as possible. During my call with you I will take brief details of the deceased, the family contacts and explain the next steps. I will take information about where and when the crematory or burial service is to take place and diary this. The next thing to do will be to organise a meeting with you. You may wish to invite other close family members and/or friends to be this meeting which will usually take place at your home or another suitable venue if you prefer (we can also arrange to meet virtually using ‘Zoom’ if you prefer). It is important that we arrange this quite soon after your first contact with me. I will usually email some questions to you before the meeting. These prompts can be a useful way of helping you to think about the meeting and what you would like to say.

The meeting

The meeting should take between 1.5 and 2 hours. I will go through the structure of a typical ceremony and then ask questions to enable me to get a full picture of your loved one; their personality, passions, humour  and interests. Areas will include a family tree, school/colleges attended, interests and memorable occasions. I will take notes…lots of notes!

We will, between us, start to put together a ceremony that reflects the deceased person’s life and character. This will include choosing music and poems or readings and whether family members would like to read a tribute. I will be able to guide you through this. Often, I will outline a structure and you will then be able to have something to look at and make changes to. The type of ceremony you want is entirely up to you.

After the meeting, I will draw together all of the information and write the ceremony script. This will usually include a substantial 5-10 minute ‘Life tribute’ (Please see my ‘Tribute’ page). I will ensure that the draft ceremony and tribute is sent to you in plenty of time for you to make any comments and changes. Once we have an agreed ceremony, I will make contact with the Funeral Directors (they will need the information for the ‘order of service’ booklet), and the Crematorium (to advise on the choice of music).

The ceremony

I will be there in plenty of time to greet family members as they arrive. I will lead the ceremony and ensure a fitting celebration. After the service I will provide a presentation copy of the ceremony to you to keep.