You probably have hundreds of questions that need answering which we can talk about when we meet. For now, I’ve tried to answer a few of the more obvious ones here. You’ll notice that quite a lot of them are wedding-related so if you have questions that aren’t covered below, please feel free to contact me by email at fi.humphries@icloud.com or call me on 07788 925179.

 

What’s a Humanist wedding ceremony all about?

It’s a non-religious ceremony that focuses on your story and celebrates your love and partnership. It can be serious, funny, romantic, practical and involve your friends and family. It can be themed or traditional – it’s entirely your call. It also has all the elements of ceremony too like wedding vows and a declaration of marriage. In all cases, my weddings are always Made For You and please find more details about how here.

Can we have one if we’re not Humanists?

Absolutely. All are welcome. Humanist ceremonies are inclusive and available to all couples who want a non-religious wedding ceremony, whether they are straight, same-sex or otherwise.

 

Can we have our ceremony in an unlicensed venue?

Yes. In fact, you can have your ceremony anywhere you like. In a ruined castle, a country mansion, by a pond, in a pond, field, garden, house, hotel rooftop, ocean … anywhere you like. It’s even better if the venue is special to you both.

 

Is a humanist wedding legally recognised?

Not yet in England and Wales. But a lot of work’s being done to challenge the law on this issue so things may change sooner than you think. Just like they did in Scotland in 2005, in Northern Ireland in 2018 and more recently in Jersey in 2019. Keep an eye on the Humanist UK website for updates on this issue.

 

So what do I need to do to make our marriage legal?

You’ll need to both go to your local Register Office at least 3 months (and up to a year) before your humanist wedding ceremony, where you’ll “Give Notice to be Married”. By doing so you’re doing something similar to those who get married in church, where they have their banns read. Then closer to your ceremony, you make another appointment with the registrar to complete the legal part of your wedding, where you register your marriage, taking along two witnesses. Then you’re all set for your big day.

 

 

Do we have two weddings then?

Not at all. If you choose a humanist ceremony, that is your wedding. Absolutely no question. It’s the day that you celebrate your love for each other with all your friends and family, where you’ll say your vows and exchange your rings (if you want to do that). Look at the visit to the Register Office as the legal bit where you register your marriage. I know couples who have turned up in shorts and t-shirts, said the bits they need to legally say, signed the papers and then skipped off back to the preparations for their big day.

 

How long is a humanist wedding ceremony?

Again, it’s really your call. Some last 20 minutes and others longer, although I find that between 30-40 minutes works well for most couples.

 

Can we write our own vows / renewed vows and exchange rings?

Absolutely. I actively encourage you to do write your own vows. In fact, some couples don’t disclose what they’re going to say to each other until their big day, making it a lovely surprise for each other. And if you want to include a ring exchange, I will blend one into your ceremony.

 

Can we choose our own readings and music?

Yes. There’s no restriction on the readings or music that you might want at your wedding. So if you want that wonderful, if a bit sweary poem by a favourite writer or that head-banger of a rock song that you both sing to in the car, you most certainly can. Alternatively, I come equipped with armfuls of suggestions for readings and music. I can even write something just for you if that’s what you’re looking for.

 

How am I going to get through it – I’m terrified of speaking in public?

As a part of my service, I can coach you before your special day, so that you feel confident and ready to say your vows when it comes to that moment. Same for the friends or family who are doing readings for you. With my background in performing arts, I can help you all to calm your nerves and steady your voices so that you may even enjoy the experience on the day. We can even schedule a rehearsal so that you’re reassured everyone knows what they’re doing and when.

 

What about symbolic acts – do you have any ideas?

Yep. When we’re talking about the kind of ceremony or celebration you’re looking for, I can advise you on some of the symbolic acts I’ve come across like hand-fasting, broom-jumping, tree-planting or otherwise. Or you can tell me what you want and we can take it from there. Again, it’s really your call.

 

 

How much do you charge?

On the Humanist Ceremonies’ website, you’ll see that they recommend that a band fee between £450 – £1,200 for a wedding ceremony. I am committed to working within this band and always base my fee on what you want, the complexity of your ceremony and its length. If you are local to me (say within 15 miles), I won’t charge travel expenses but if you are further away, they will be an additional cost. For special occasions, my fee will always be based on your requirements rather than a set figure.

 

 

Are you available?

I hope so. Why don’t you send me the date, time and venue for your wedding, partnership or special occasion and I’ll check my diary. You can drop me an email at fi.humphries@icloud.com or give me a call on 07788 925179.