Funerals

“Ingrid dealt with everything sensitively and honestly. We felt safe, felt that everything was under control”

What do we look for in a funeral?
The chance to remember our loved one with clarity, to remember their joy or their quirky sense of humour. The opportunity to celebrate that they lived and that for a brief time, we walked this earth with them. And of course, to be able to say goodbye and give voice to the grief and loss we may feel.

For people who do not have religious beliefs, the opportunity to have a ceremony focused entirely on the person they have lost means that they can have the meaningful goodbye they deeply need, without having to awkwardly negotiate a faith they do not share.

The beauty of a humanist ceremony is that it can be tailored to reflect whatever you want.

I can help you choose the reading, the music, write and deliver the whole ceremony, or you might want me to ceremonially link together all the parts that people want to contribute themselves. You can be involved as much or as little as you feel you can manage.

A typical ceremony (but you don’t have to stick to this)

  • Introductory music
  • Words of welcome
  • Thoughts on life and death from a non-religious perspective
  • The tribute – an outline of the life and personality of the person who has died
  • Readings of poetry and prose
  • Reflection – a few moments for private thoughts about the person who has died, either in silence or accompanied by music
  • The committal – when the curtains are closed or coffin lowered
  • Closing words – including thanks on your behalf
  • Final music

My approach
You are welcome contact me directly or ask your Funeral Director to contact me on your behalf.

I can visit with you and your family to discuss what sort of ceremony you want. The meeting usually takes around 1.5 hours.

I’ll spend time asking you about the life of your loved one. You might be dreading this part but lots of people say afterwards how good it was to be able to remember. You probably already have ideas about what music and readings you would like but I can help with ideas if you’d like. Our conversations will help me understand what sort of ceremony you are looking for.

After our meeting, I’ll draft the ceremony, and write the tribute – then I’ll send a draft to you so you can check that you are happy with it. I make contact with any families and friends who are doing readings or their own tributes.

On the day, I arrive before the mourners, check that everything is as expected in the chapel and liaise with the organist and the chapel attendant. I greet the family and give printed out readings to those who are contributing. I check with the Funeral Director that everything is coordinated. After everyone is seated, I will escort the coffin and start the ceremony. At the end of the ceremony I will escort the family from the chapel to the flower court and say goodbye.

After the funeral I will give you a presentation version of the script.

My fee is £195.00 (+ travel expenses if you live over an hour/40 miles away) If you are using a Funeral Director this would be paid through the disbursments.