Funerals
Funerals…
It is so important to have the funeral that is right for the person who has died and for those who knew and loved him or her.
We are all different – some families have lots of people who want to take part, speaking, reading or making music. Others feel unable to and prefer me to speak for them.
Some feel they can really celebrate how very special their loved one was. Though saying goodbye must necessarily be a sad occasion I try always to introduce a positive note – how good it was to know him or her, to remember the good times, even the funny times, to commemorate the real person.
Most want a quiet, simple ceremony but for others this is the time for live music or a little personal touch that makes it right for the person you have lost.
How does it work?
You can contact me directly, or via your funeral director.
I visit you at home, or elsewhere if you prefer, to talk about your loved one and the ceremony that is right for them and for you. If that’s not possible – Cornish families are often scattered – we can talk on the phone or via Skype. I can give you lots of suggestions for readings and music if you need them.
Once I have a picture of the person you have lost and the ceremony that would be right for them I produce a draft. I always like to get someone close to check it through – everything must be exactly right.
On the day I am there, a familiar face to support you and speak for you.
Where can a Humanist ceremony take place?
I conduct funerals at crematoria, civic or parish burial grounds and green burial sites. Or a Humanist ceremony can be held anywhere, perhaps somewhere the loved one was happy.
Memorial services too can, of course be held anywhere you wish. This can be helpful if it had become impossible for your loved one to stay in the area that they had lived for many years.
I can also help you to make plans for your own funeral, in outline or in detail. Some find this helpful.
Some things people have said about funerals I have conducted:
“I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for my father, his Humanist ceremony last month. It really was perfect in every way, for such an occasion. We were all really happy with how things went, and very grateful for all that you did in making it such a special time. Everyone commented on how lovely and uplifting the ceremony was, and even funny! It made things easier in moving forward at such a difficult and sad time. I know Dad would have loved it if he were there!!” – Louise and James, Cornwall
“I just wanted to say a big thank you to you for conducting my Mum’s service so beautifully. My family and I really appreciated your kindness, patience and sensitivity throughout the process and will always be grateful. It was and still is a very difficult time for us all, but we take great comfort in the knowledge that the right person conducted the service.“ – Sue, Cornwall
“Thank you so much for doing such an excellent job with dad’s funeral. It was exactly what he would have wanted.” – Kate, Shropshire
“I am so pleased with how our day went on Friday and wanted you to know that many, many people said how well you spoke and you seemed to have known M. Brilliant. Thank you very, very much for listening and speaking for us so well and for your tone of voice and 100% presence.” – Nina, Fowey
“Just a little note to thank you so very much for your part in L’s “celebration”. It was just the right mixture of what she had done in her life and the sadness all those there felt. You did a great job and set the tone well enough to give me the confidence to be able to do my poem – a last act that I so wanted to do for her, but was terrified of. All I heard afterwards was that it was a beautiful half hour.” – Andy, Truro
“Definitely want to add my thanks for Friday. It was lovely to have you leading the service and thereby allowing us to add our personal tributes. There were many positive comments and an appreciation of what a Humanist service can bring. I feel we gave Mum a good send off and it brings a sense of closure.” – Sara, Plymouth
“I want to thank you for the lovely ceremony on Thursday, you did my beautiful and beloved mum proud, it was just want we wanted for her – and you were so right about the music. She would have loved the setting, all of those gorgeous trees and the sky looked so fantastically blue and sunny that morning.” – Jenny
“Thank you so much for this and for leading the ceremony on Friday so beautifully. It was even better than we had hoped – rightly great sadness but so many funny and touching stories and so much love. ” – Lindsey, Saltash
“Thank You so much for officiating at J’s Going Away Do. It was an absolutely perfect day and it all went just as she planned it and wanted it to be. Your handling of the Celebration was ‘spot on’ and I thought, ‘Yes, Perfect’. Thank you once again, from the deepest places in my heart. You gave her the ‘sending off’ that she wanted and deserved.” – Gary, Graham and Sam, Plymouth
“Thank you so much for a wonderful service. It reflected M’s life perfectly and he would have approved of every word. I have since spoken to family and friends, many of whom hadn’t realised that there was an alternative type of service, other than religious. Many of them will now seek that kind of service when their time comes. Once again my gratitude to you.” – Pat, Bolventor
How to get in touch with Joanna Hawes:
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