Funeral FAQ

Q. What is a non-religious funeral?
A. A Humanist ceremony is a non-religious funeral is where the person who has died is the centre of the ceremony. We think and talk about their lives and the effects they had on us. We don’t talk about god or angels or heaven or hell. Instead, we celebrate the life of the person who has died. We think about their life and the effect they has had on us and the world around us. We include in the funeral things that the person loved like music and poems and share times that we spent with them.

Q. What happens at Humanist funeral?
A. Each ceremony is unique, just like the person who has died. We create the funeral service together. We can include pieces of music, poems and readings or family and friends can speak recalling events and occasions that they shared with their loved one. I often deliver a ‘tribute’ where I talk about the persons life. I will advise and suggest things, but the final decision is up to you.

Q. What do I need to do before the funeral?
A. Before the funeral I like to meet with you and talk about the person who has died. I need to get a good idea of their life and character. We call this story about them a tribute – it is sometimes called a eulogy. The planning meeting can be in person or via a Zoom call. Zoom can be a good alternative as it enables relatives who may live in other parts of the country to take part in the discussion. I need to decide with you what happens at the funeral. I will send you some questions beforehand, so you have time to think. We will use these questions as a framework for our meeting.

Q. Will I get the final say on what happens at the funeral?
A. Yes, I will send you a copy of the tribute that I have written along with all the other words and music that will be spoken the funeral. You will get a chance beforehand to correct any mistakes and agree any changes. When the funeral is over I will give you a printed presentation copy of the tribute.

Q. Will my religious friends and family be welcome at a Humanist funeral?
A. Everyone is welcome at a humanist funeral. As part of the service, I usually include a time where religious people can say a silent prayer while nonreligious people can think about a time, they spent with their loved one that was special or memorable. Humanist funerals are inclusive, so if you are happy for a friend or family member to read or sing something that is religious or spiritual, we can include that too.

Q. Can I speak at the funeral?
A. Yes, you can. Having more than one voice at a funeral can make it more memorable and worthwhile. However, I do understand that funerals can be a very emotional times and it is easy to become overwhelmed by sadness. If you would prefer, I can deliver the whole service for you. If you want to speak but are not sure if you will be able on the day, I can act as your backup and read out what you wanted to say but were unable. If you or a family member wants to speak at the funeral it is really helpful if I am sent a copy beforehand. This helps me with timings, to prevent the funeral from running out of time and to ensure I do not duplicate or repeat a story you might want to tell.

Q. I would like to speak but don’t know what to say.
A. I can help you decide and suggest some reading or poems that might be appropriate.

Q. Are you qualified to conduct funerals?
A. I have undertaken training with and been accredited by Humanist UK. I have had a criminal records check and am fully insured to deliver non-religious funeral ceremonies.