On non-religious ceremonies

As members of the human community, everyone is deeply affected by death. Whether you hold a religious belief or not, I hope everyone can agree on the importance of acknowledging our common humanity, the things which unite us all; love, friendship and compassion for others…

A sudden death leaves those who remain suffering from shock and disbelief. Please be gentle with yourselves and with each other as you try to absorb that shock.

Try to allow yourself to have your true feelings, whatever they may be. Sometimes grief brings an inability to feel anything at all; a strange kind of numbness. At other times tears well up, or we want to cry but cannot. But there may also be moments when you feel happy, able to laugh again as you recall special memories.

Rest assured there are no ‘rules’ about what you should feel or how you should behave; however it is you feel is exactly what you should be feeling.

Reflections on life and death

The uniqueness of each human life is at the heart of the grief we feel when we lose someone we love; the knowledge that there’s no one else quite like them. But solace can be found in knowing that those who die live on in our memories, and whilst they’re no longer a visible part of our lives, their presence, their effect on the world, is felt in the essence of who we are.

All living things are subject to death, this is the basis of growth, but it is the passing of influence from generation to generation which makes a human life endure beyond its single span.

In some traditions, the goal of life is to become an ancestor, to be remembered by those who live on, revered for the legacy one leaves behind.

For those of us who believe death is the end of an individual existence, recognition of our responsibility for, and dependence on, each other gives life its purpose and significance.

The concept of an individual life as part of a natural cycle answers our search for meaning; that something of ourselves continues through our personal achievements and in the hearts and minds of those who have known us, and who we have loved in return…

An example committal

In love and respect, we’ve remembered Alice’s life, recalled the kind and generous person she was, grateful for the life she lived, for her tenderness, and for all that her life means to those who love her.

Alice Frances Jones, you were a much-loved daughter, wife, mother, nana and friend. The support you gave so willingly brought such positive difference to the world, and the values you embodied will live on through your family, your treasured daughters and grandsons.

Your warmth, your generosity and your love will be remembered always, an example and an inspiration to those who remain.