Each of the ceremonies I conduct is unique because it is created for the people involved.

What you won’t hear at a Humanist funeral

A humanist funeral is suitable for a person who has lived their life without a religious faith and so a religious funeral wouldn’t ring true. In a humanist ceremony, there is no act of worship or reference to an after-life. The ceremony is non-religious but in the period of quiet reflection, those with a religious faith can say a private prayer.

What you will hear …

… is whatever you have requested. At the heart of the ceremony is the tribute section, which lasts up to 15 minutes and is usually written by me but can include a variety of tributes paid by family and friends. There are usually at least three pieces of music – one to accompany the entry of the coffin, another for a quiet period of reflection part way through and a final piece of music to close the ceremony. You will also hear readings. These could be poems or passages of literature. We will discuss these beforehand. If you are not sure what to choose I will make suggestions, based on what you have told me, but the final decision rests with you.

What is my role?

In preparing a service, I will meet, usually with family but sometimes also with friends, to learn about the person so that I can compose a fitting tribute. Please feel free to invite anyone to this meeting who can help me to paint a picture. Have some photos on hand to show me. We’ll discuss their life story, their likes and dislikes, talents and achievements, great and small, and what made them laugh and what made them grumpy. I will listen to you and construct a ceremony around how you would like them to be remembered. I have a store of poems, readings and music suggestions but I will be guided by you and together we’ll make sure that the ceremony reflects their tastes and celebrates their life. There are so many options at a Humanist funeral. The atmosphere created may be solemn or it can be joyful. You might hear a classical sonata or a piece of punk music.

What is your role?

I encourage family members and friends, if they feel able to, to contribute by reading or recalling their special memories. However, I know this can be difficult and I will be guided by you on this. Quite often I am asked to conduct the whole ceremony, and that is fine. We will stay in contact in the days leading up to the funeral – I will send you a copy of my tribute and you can change it as you see fit. You may remember something important that wasn’t said at our meeting and you can contact me by phone or email. I want to provide the best possible ceremony.

On the day of the funeral

On the day, I will lead the funeral ceremony. You will feel in safe hands, as I will discuss this with you beforehand and liaise with your Funeral Director to ensure that everything runs smoothly. At the end of the ceremony I will give you a presentation script for you to keep.