On very rare occasions a couple will postpone their wedding. This sometimes happens very close to the ceremony date. What happens next? The answer is simple even when the reasons for the cancellation are complicated.

In my world, the reasons for cancellations can be infused with intense emotions. The couple might have had second thoughts. In which case, wait. There might have been an accident, in which case wait. There might have been a family bereavement, in which case wait. There might be illness, in which case wait.

When couples cancel or defer they are, without exception, hugely apologetic and distressed that the cancellation might be an inconvenience to me. It is never an inconvenience. My role is to be there, to be supportive, to respond genuinely to whatever is happening and in a way that is most helpful. Imagine doing all the work that needs to be be done in preparing your wedding and then knowing that it cannot happen. It is heartbreaking for couples and it throws them off-course. Should we go ahead? Should we re-book? Should we cancel everything? Should we do it anyway? Should we not do it at all?

Whatever the reason for the cancellation, time itself will help. Finding perspective, purpose and meaning is practically impossible in the midst of chaos.

As a celebrant I offer a constant, often invisible, but reliable presence, ready to respond when the couple are ready to start again. They will know when they are ready and until then I will simply be here. Ready to pick up the reins, adjust the ceremony script where necessary, and incorporate the feelings behind the postponement into the day – emphasising that delay is part of life and a wedding has no magical power to stem the reality of ‘life’ getting in the way of our plans.

So if you are reading this and you have had to cancel or defer your plans, I hope you are reassured that any celebrant worth their salt will simply wait. Until you are ready to start again.

The bride was an artist in the true sense of the word. And she is an artist in real life! I first met the couple in the depths of winter. Immediately we hit it off and I knew their wedding would be a magical experience for everyone. Including me. It was! The photographs say it all – well nearly all. This gorgeous and devoted couple are very private and didn’t want photos of themselves – you will have to believe me when I say that they looked stunning. The ceremony was held on the Equinox. In a wood. The colour palette was perfect for the occasion and the season – purple, orange, pink, yellow, red and green. The wedding was perfect.

Imagine this……… a bright, crisp autumn day in the woods. The sky a brilliant blue and the sun twinkled through the branches – with leaves just turning gold and orange. All the guests met round a fire pit and later were joined by the couple and we all had hot apple juice. Then we walked through the woods to the ceremony site itself with bales and chairs placed in an arc around the decorated archway. The couple walked in after us to the haunting voice of Annie Lennox singing Love Song for a Vampire It is their story.

Welcome, a precious unity candle, readings and a seven-ribbon hand-fasting; a mandala stone (painted by the bride) for a well-wishing stone-warming whilst we signed the certificate, and the bride and groom played out by friends on their fiddles. This ceremony told their story of love, steadfastness and joy. It was beautiful, dignified, significant, memorable. I shall not forget it.

Come into these arms again
And lay your body down
The rhythm of this trembling heart
Is beating like a drum
It beats for you, it bleeds for you
It know not how it sound
For it is the drum of drums
It is the song of songs
Once I had rarest rose
That ever deigned to bloom
Cruel winter chilled the bud
And stole my flower too soon
Oh loneliness, oh hopelessness
To search the ends of time
For there is in all the world
No greater love than mine
Love, oh love, oh love
Still falls the rain (still falls the rain)
Love, oh love, oh, love
Still falls the night
Love, oh love, oh love
Be mine forever (be mine forever)
Love, oh love, oh love
Let me be the only one
To keep you from the cold
Now the floor of heaven’s lain
With stars of brightest gold
They shine for you, they shine for you
They burn for all to see
Come into these arms again
And set this spirit free