On very rare occasions a couple will postpone their wedding. This sometimes happens very close to the ceremony date. What happens next? The answer is simple even when the reasons for the cancellation are complicated.

In my world, the reasons for cancellations can be infused with intense emotions. The couple might have had second thoughts. In which case, wait. There might have been an accident, in which case wait. There might have been a family bereavement, in which case wait. There might be illness, in which case wait.

When couples cancel or defer they are, without exception, hugely apologetic and distressed that the cancellation might be an inconvenience to me. It is never an inconvenience. My role is to be there, to be supportive, to respond genuinely to whatever is happening and in a way that is most helpful. Imagine doing all the work that needs to be be done in preparing your wedding and then knowing that it cannot happen. It is heartbreaking for couples and it throws them off-course. Should we go ahead? Should we re-book? Should we cancel everything? Should we do it anyway? Should we not do it at all?

Whatever the reason for the cancellation, time itself will help. Finding perspective, purpose and meaning is practically impossible in the midst of chaos.

As a celebrant I offer a constant, often invisible, but reliable presence, ready to respond when the couple are ready to start again. They will know when they are ready and until then I will simply be here. Ready to pick up the reins, adjust the ceremony script where necessary, and incorporate the feelings behind the postponement into the day – emphasising that delay is part of life and a wedding has no magical power to stem the reality of ‘life’ getting in the way of our plans.

So if you are reading this and you have had to cancel or defer your plans, I hope you are reassured that any celebrant worth their salt will simply wait. Until you are ready to start again.