Why have a funeral?

There is no legal obligation to have a funeral.  Some people prefer to have no funeral, or a small private funeral, with a memorial service for friends and family. It is up to you.

Generally a funeral will be held at a crematorium or a cemetery or natural burial site. A memorial can be held wherever and whenever you wish.

A funeral or memorial is an opportunity to remember and commemorate or celebrate the life of the person who has died.  It is a chance for friends and family to say farewell and it can be an important milestone on the journey of grief.

To grieve is part of what makes us human, something we share with others.

What is a humanist funeral?  

A humanist funeral is non-religious.  It focuses on the life that has been lived and offers an opportunity for mourners to reflect and say goodbye in their own way.

A humanist funeral is not anti-religious. Humanists recognise that humanity is glorious and diverse, and people hold different beliefs. Most funerals will make space for some time for silent reflection, when mourners who have a faith can say their own silent prayer.

You do not have to be a humanist to choose a humanist funeral.

Generally a funeral will follow a pattern of:  words of welcome and often some thoughts on life and death,  a tribute or eulogy – the heart of the funeral, time for reflection, the farewell or committal, final words and notices.  There may be music and readings of poems or texts.  Relatives or friends may read, or the celebrant may read everything. It is your choice.

How will it work?

You can ask your funeral director to contact me, or contact me directly yourself.

I am happy to discuss things with you on the phone initially.

The funeral director will confirm a date for the funeral when you have a celebrant.

If you decide you would like to engage me, we will make a date for a ‘family meeting’ – which might be just one person, or include friends and family.  This is an important time for me to understand the life story of the deceased and how you would like the funeral to be.

It may also be an important time for you as you begin to put this life into words.  I am a good listener and always aim to be open and empathetic.

Sometimes people find it helpful to write down some notes in advance.

We can talk about other things you might like at the service: whether there will be other readers;  we can discuss music, texts and poems, and the order of service. This I can send to the funeral director.

If you remember something important after the meeting, you can email or call me.

I can make suggestions about readings or poems and will then produce a draft for you to check for accuracy.

At the funeral itself

I will liaise with the funeral director and I will take care of the words.  If someone is aiming to read, but finds they cannot, that is not a problem.

After the funeral

I will send you a copy of the ceremony for you to keep.

My fee is generally £225, usually paid by the funeral director.   (There may be slight variation if lots of travel is involved).

 

You can contact me at        deborah.gearing@humanistceremonies.org.uk

or phone:     07599387957

or                 023 80 676138