Beautiful photo by Lisa Carpenter.

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions.

What is a Humanist Wedding?

The simplest definition of a humanist wedding is that it’s a non-religious wedding ceremony. A humanist wedding is centred on the love and commitment between two people and nothing else matters; from the colour of your skin to your gender, or from your cultural heritage to your sexual orientation. A humanist wedding lets you marry where you want, who you want and how you want. And you don’t have to be a humanist to have a humanist wedding.

Do you only provide wedding ceremonies?

I also offer vow renewals, partnerships, celebration of life and love ceremonies, unions, micro weddings, adventure elopements and commitment ceremonies.

What are your personal values?

“Humanist” values, the term “Humanist” is used today to mean those who seek to live good lives. Humanists base their moral principles on reason, shared human values and respect for others. They believe that people should work together to improve the quality of life for all and make it more equitable. Humanism is a full philosophy, “life stance” or worldview, rather than being about one aspect of religion, knowledge, or politics.

What kind of venue or location can we have?

Having a humanist ceremony means you can choose anywhere you wish, you are not restricted to a licenced venue. Let your imagination run wild and pick the location of your dreams. You may like a woodland setting, a sunny beach, farmland, canal boat or yacht, your favourite restaurant, halfway up a mountain, your own home – the possibilities are endless.

Whilst humanism does not follow a religion, it is also fine if you want to hold your wedding in a religious building, as long as you don’t want me to carry out an act of worship.

You need to ensure the venue is happy to host your ceremony.

How long will the ceremony be?

There is no set time however, a humanist wedding ceremony usually lasts between fifteen and thirty minutes: the former for a simple affair and the latter for something more varied, with readings, music and maybe symbolic gestures of some kind.

Will we be legally married after our humanist ceremony?

At present, Humanist wedding ceremonies are not yet legally binding in England but we are hoping that they will be soon. Many couples have a very small registry office wedding, to complete the formal legal requirements, perhaps with just the witnesses present. They then choose to have a separate humanist wedding ceremony, saving their vows and other meaningful symbolic rituals until then. Most couples view their humanist celebration as their ‘real’ wedding, with all their loved ones present.

Do we have to have a registry office wedding?

Only if you want your marriage to be recognised in the eyes of the law. Many couples have a very small registry office wedding, perhaps with just the witnesses present. They then choose to have a separate wedding ceremony, tailored just the way they want for all their friends and family.

Are celebrants different to registrars?

Yes, registrars will often have a limited choice of what they can include in your ceremony. You can ask for certain words, poems, and readings to be included, but there may be restraints on time and around what can be said. A Celebrant creates a unique ceremony every time and no two ceremonies are the same. The most striking difference is that you, your family and friends can get to know your celebrant really well whilst your ceremony is being crafted.

What do Celebrants wear?

I always seek to reflect the couple’s specified dress code, I will present myself smartly unless an alternative request is made.

Can you help us choose readings and music?

Yes certainly, I’ve collected together a range of poems, readings and music ideas over the years and will be happy to provide you with these during the planning process.

Do friends and family have to join in the ceremony?

You can choose to involve your friends and family, as much or as little as you would like. Involving your friends and family can help give your ceremony a personalised touch, I can help you decide how things will fit into the ceremony.

Can you help us write the Vows or Promises?

The vows or promises are perhaps the most personal and important part of the ceremony. You may choose to write your personal vows or promises, or you can tell me what you would like to say, and I’ll write them for you. Some couples read from a card, some repeat them after me, while others choose to memorise them (remembering them can be quite stressful). Some couples like to rehearse the vows, whilst others wish to keep them a secret until the big day. Whatever you prefer to do, I will help to ensure you are both comfortable.

What will you pronounce us as?

Husband and Wife

Wife and Wife

Husband and Husband

The Happy Couple

The legal words that marry a couple during a church or register office wedding are called the ‘Contracting Words’, there are no contracting words in a humanist ceremony therefore I can pronounce you as anything you wish.

What happens if we cancel our wedding?

My fees are non-refundable, I would conduct the service on another date if possible. Any additional fees incurred would be discussed in full with the couple before the date is rescheduled. Many couples take out wedding insurance. I cannot recommend policies as they are all different and I am not an expert in that field. Look at the policies closely as some offer much better benefits than others. As with any insurance check you are not already covered as you do not want to buy a policy unnecessarily.

Why might there be additional fees incurred for a date change?

The celebrant is unlikely to get another booking for that day as most ceremonies are booked at least 12 months in advance. Reserving a new date means the celebrant cannot take a new booking on that date.

What are your ceremony fees?

My fees for 2022/23 start from £850 and I ask for a non-refundable booking fee of £300 on appointment. Unusual requirements which would require more of my time to plan or deliver can be discussed and I will provide you with a bespoke fee proposal.

Travel is calculated at 45 pence per mile if I am driving, or I’ll pass on travel expenses at cost if I’m using other forms of transport. (Parking fees will also be passed on).

My fees include the following:

-A planning meeting on appointment via video, phone call or in person at my local coffee shop.

-My time to prepare a bespoke wedding ceremony script, that is unique to you as a couple.

-Support and ideas to write your vows or promises and other special content you wish to include.

-Suggestions for poems, music, and symbolic gestures if you would like to include these.

-A logistical rehearsal via video, phone call or in person at a mutually agreed time and location (for summer weddings this is usually a few months in advance).

-A keepsake certificate for you to sign on the day if you wish.

-A presentation version of your ceremony script.

-Professional indemnity and public liability insurance for my actions.

-A high quality service as defined by the Humanists UK accreditation scheme and professional code of conduct.

I contribute a yearly fee to Humanists UK to maintain my accreditation and support the Humanists UK Ceremonies network.

We cannot find the answer to our question, what should we do?

Please contact me, I would be happy to answer any questions you have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gorgeous photo by the amazing Tom Walker.