Initial contact

When you first contact me to discuss a funeral or a memorial, I’ll take some initial details about you and the person who has died. I’ll then arrange to meet with you.  This would normally be in person, at your home or a place that’s convenient and comfortable for you.  But, during lockdown, we’ll arrange to meet online or talk on the phone.

Planning meeting/talk

This is when I will gather most of the information needed to create the ceremony and draft a special tribute to the person who has died.  The meeting or call can involve whoever you want it too.  Some people prefer to talk to me by themselves.  Others want family members or friends to be involved.  Whatever you want, I can accommodate.

I’ll ask you a number of questions to make sure that I get all the facts right.  Then we’ll talk about the person who has died.  Your memories of them.  Stories about them. What they were like, what they enjoyed, what was important to them.  We might look at photos, or things that they treasured, or that remind you of them.  Together, we’ll build a picture of that person.

We’ll talk about any readings and music you’d like to be included.  You may have already chosen these but, if not, I can give you ideas and suggestions.  We can discuss if there is anyone that you would like to make a speech, or do a reading.  And I’ll explain exactly what will happen on the day.  If this a funeral, I’ll be working closely with your Funeral Director.  If it’s a memorial, I’ll liaise with the venue.  Everything will be done to make sure the whole process is as easy as it can be for you under the circumstances.

Writing the tribute

I will then write a first draft of what will be said at the ceremony.  This will come to you so that you can give me and changes or additions.  It may go between us a few times – that’s fine.  What’s important, is that the end result is exactly right. Only when you’re completely happy will it be finalised.

The ceremony

On the day, I will be at the crematorium or venue in advance, and will already have checked with staff there that everything is ready.  I will greet the people arriving and will be waiting for you to arrive.  From then on, I’ll lead the ceremony, supporting you and anyone taking part and making sure everything goes smoothly.

If the ceremony is taking place on-line, I’ll organise the video-conferencing and manage the technology.

Afterwards

After the ceremony, I’ll give you a copy of the entire ceremony script so that you have that to keep.  For many families, this becomes a treasured record of their loved-one’s life.  I’ll also provide you with a pdf copy so that you can send it digitally to anyone who perhaps couldn’t attend. If you would like it to be stored on the national Humanist Funeral Tribute Archive, I can arrange that for you.