You may be in the situation when you want to discuss a ceremony ahead of time, wishing to leave things in order and help those left behind, or wanting to discuss together how a death is to be marked to reduce the pressures when the inevitable happens. We can do this in a calm and pragmatic manner, at your pace.

You may already have bought a funeral plan with your funeral directors which will cover all the logistics needed, but not the content and format of the actual ceremony. If you are thinking of doing this, Premium Bonds are an alternative place to stash your funds, rather than with a funeral director, as this keeps your options open when the time comes – you can change your mind. 

Before training as a celebrant, I had no idea of the ‘business’ of funerals or the way people are channelled into traditional rituals and protocols. My insights now can help you formulate a plan and to leave instructions that have your stamp on them.  You really can do it your way. As an accredited Pastoral Care practitioner, I am comfortable opening up this conversation with you and will listen carefully to your ideas, concerns and wishes. We can talk about music, readings, poetry and the general tone of the ceremony you might like. I am particularly interested in the idea of you passing on your ‘wisdoms’ if this feels like a useful thing to do; your legacy, but also your advice – we can talk about this. As Ceremonies are really for mourners, rather than the person who has died, I recommend that you leave some flexibility in your planning so that people feel guided, rather than constrained, in fulfilling your wishes.

I can deliver the Ceremony for you, when the time comes, if this is what you wish, with the resonance of actually knowing you myself, but we can also lodge your instructions with a repository at Humanists UK to safeguard it for future use and delivery by another celebrant.

I also run a course called ‘Tying up Your Loose Ends’ for groups who request this (for example for U3A groups) which takes an informative and practical approach to thinking about your own mortality and how to put things in place to make matters easier for yourself and others in your life.  The four sessions cover Taking Stock, Planning for a Rainy Day, What Happens if your Died Yesterday, and The Grand Finale in a conversational and easy manner. Mail me if you are in a group who would like to do this – prices are negotiable.