They say that grief is the price we pay for love.

What they don’t say is that grief is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no right or wrong way to mark the death of someone you loved – whatever organised religion may say. My goal is to help craft a non-religious funeral – a cremation or burial – or a less formal memorial ceremony (which can take place anywhere you choose) to mark the death, celebrate the life, and honour the memory of the person who has died, and to do so in exactly the way you want. It will be unique to them, and apt and meaningful for you.

This needs time and care. I choose not to conduct a lot of funerals, but to spend as much time as is needed on the ones where I can make a difference. I will spend proper time with your family to learn the really important stuff about the person who has died. Not just form-filling facts, but what made them who they were to you. Who and what they loved; what made them laugh and cry; what they cared about; what books, music and movies they liked; what they were good at; what their ideal day would have been; what those left behind loved about them.

Then we can together craft a service that you, and they, would be proud of. Perhaps reflective, perhaps a bit noisier. With room for tears and sadness, of course – but also with room for some smiles, maybe even laughter – all as seems right to you. I’ll take on as little or as much as you like on the day itself – from writing and delivering the whole ceremony (checking back with you throughout to be certain you are happy), to merely coordinating family and friends as they give their own tributes and readings, or anything in between.

I can help you find just the right pieces of music, poems and readings, and I’ll liaise with any Funeral Directors and with the staff at any venue to make sure it all runs smoothly on the day.

If you would like to chat further – without any obligation at all – please call or email me. I’ll be proud to help you create the ceremony that’s right for you, and for the one you loved.

“Julian was our humanist celebrant for a memorial for my Dad, and from the first engagement he was an absolute gift, to me, my sister, and especially to our mum. He was clear and open about the options, processes, etc. and ‘what was normal’ as well as being super encouraging that we do what we feel is right as that will be what’s right for us, and for our Dad. He spent time with us walking through Dad’s life (a really lovely and useful process for us, and certainly helpful for our mourning), and was a great facilitator in planning the format and content for the memorial ceremony. And what a memorial! Julian was brilliant! His writing was so personal and so apt. His calm presence helped us all get through our own readings, knowing we had him as back up (and on hand with tissues). And his help with the structure really made it work as a whole. Many people asked afterwards if he’d known Dad personally, and by the end of the whole thing it really felt like he had – I know Dad would have loved him! I had no idea the process of planning a funeral (or memorial, in our case) could be so healing. But with Julian it absolutely was. It is such a vulnerable time; I am so glad we found someone so genuine and kind to guide us through it. ” – BB, Ivychurch