Hello and Welcome
Firstly, I’m aware that if you are looking at my web page, then it is likely you have been recently bereaved and so let me begin by offering you my sincere condolences.
Planning a funeral can feel hard. It can feel like there is much to work through and consider and it can be a daunting experience on top of dealing with the death itself. If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, know that is normal. It’s OK.
Where I work
I live in Essex and deliver funerals across Essex as well as in London and Suffolk. I am willing to travel further afield in certain circumstances so if you are interested in me conducting your funeral ceremony, but you don’t live in Essex, London or Suffolk drop me an email to see what might be possible.
About me
I am often asked what prompted me to want to be a funeral celebrant, rather than say a wedding celebrant. Surely weddings would be much more fun people say! The truth is that ever since I experienced bereavement as a teenager when my dad died, I have been interested in how we deal with bereavement and death in the UK. As well as dad dying many years ago, I have also experienced the death of both my beloved mum and brother as well as several other important people in my life.
I have long felt that death and dying continued to be a taboo and often funerals I have attended have felt impersonal, rushed, and unsatisfactory. When I discovered Humanism twenty years ago (and realised I was a Humanist!), I found a different way to mark the ending of life.
I attended humanist funerals that were not formulaic and rushed and because they were not filled with the requirements of a traditional religious funeral, they were also very personal to the deceased. I became a funeral celebrant because I can think of no bigger privilege and satisfaction than supporting people through a funeral, which I believe is such an important part of the bereavement process.
I can lead ceremonies for Cremations, Burials, Internment, Scattering of Ashes as well as Memorial services.
Whether it be a small quiet affair in a crematorium or burial ground or a raucous send off in a community hall, pub, or home, I will accompany you in the planning and preparation and will then deliver the ceremony on the day. In a Humanist funeral there is very little that cannot be made possible (within the law of course) and the occasion can be truly personalised and tailored for you. What’s most important is that you feel the event was right for the person who has died, truly reflecting your (and their) wishes.
How do I work
Introduction
An informal initial phone or zoom call to make a connection after which, if you decide you would like to work with me, we will meet to plan the ceremony.
Planning meeting
Ideally this would be in person at your home or another location of your choice but if you prefer this can also be done remotely via zoom.
At the planning meeting we will talk about the person who has died and I will want to get to know and understand as much as possible about them and what you would like included in the funeral. Don’t worry – I know this can feel a particularly daunting task so I will help to guide the conversation, so we cover all we need to. This will include talking about any music or readings you might want included and if there were any symbolic acts you would like to include (we can talk about different options).
Writing the ceremony
After the planning meeting I will write the ceremony in line with our discussion, and I will then send this to you as a draft so you can comment and make any changes or additions you would like. This is your ceremony so you will always get final say in its content. Once you have done that, I will finalise the ceremony and send it to you again for approval.
On the day
On the day of the funeral, I will arrive at the location of the ceremony early to allow me time to ensure things are ready and to have time to liaise with officials if there are any at the site. I will greet you on arrival before leading the ceremony. After the ceremony, before departing, I will leave you with a presentation copy of the service for you to keep.
What can you expect from me?
I am a very down to earth person. I can get on with a very wide range of people and I take people as they are, which is especially important when people are planning a funeral because this sometimes means feelings are heightened and people can struggle with communicating. I understand we are all different and all react differently to bereavement.
I am professional but warm and will be comfortable with a range of different feelings. I can adapt to different situations so whether there are many tears during our planning meeting or much laughter (often there is both), all is OK.
I believe strongly in inclusion and equity, and I will do my best to always ensure ceremonies I lead are inclusive, open, authentic and non-judgemental.
I trained and qualified with Humanists UK, and I am bound by their code of conduct and their ongoing quality assurance. I am also a member of The Good Funeral Guild.
The following frequently asked questions might also be helpful to you.
What is humanism?
Humanists are non religious people who believe that we only have this one life. Rather than make sense of the world through the lens of any religion, humanists choose science, evidence and reason to guide them. Humanists are inclusive and seek to treat people with respect, understanding and kindness.
Do I need to be a humanist to use you for our ceremony?
No, it isn’t necessary for you or the person who has died to be a humanist.
Do you do funerals in churches?
Humanist funerals are non-religious and, as a humanist, I don’t personally lead acts of religious worship or deliver ceremonies in places of religious worship. I do take funerals in crematoriums, burial grounds, and any other non-religious location you may choose to hold your funeral.
Can there be any religious elements to the funeral?
Yes, this is possible. Humanism is at its very core about inclusion and therefore people of all faiths as well as no faith are always welcome at a humanist funeral. Sometimes it is the case that a religious element is wanted because it has special significance. For example, if the majority of the funeral is to be non-religious but a family member is religious and it is important to them to read a prayer during the ceremony then I will be happy to support them to do so.
Are you in place of a funeral director?
No, the role of celebrant is different from a funeral director. My role as celebrant is to work with you to plan the ceremony and to then lead the ceremony on the day. If you are using funeral directors, I will liaise with them about the logistics and if you are choosing not to have a funeral director, we can discuss who to liaise with to ensure the ceremony runs smoothly.
How do I book you?
You can book directly by contacting me on the email address provided below. You can also let your funeral director know, if you have one, that you wish me to lead the ceremony and they will contact me.
How much do you charge?
I charge £250 for funerals in Essex, Suffolk, and London. This covers all meetings we will have, ceremony preparation and my delivery. There will be an additional charge for travel to other locations. In certain circumstances, I will reduce or waive the fee.
Please do drop me an email to discuss your needs further
