If you make contact with me either directly or through your funeral director I will firstly ask you some simple questions about your loved one. If appropriate I will provide you with a list of questions and prompts for you to tell me a little more – usually by email at this stage. I will also arrange a family meeting with you – this can be in the comfort of your own home, or another family member or friend’s home. It could also be in a café or other public space – that is entirely up to you. Other members of family and friends are welcome, but it is best not to have too many as that can become cumbersome to manage.

Your family meeting will take no longer than two hours, usually between an hour to an hour and a half. We will chat about your responses to the questions and spend some time creating the type of format you want the service to look like. There are no rules, you can be as creative as you like. We will think about music choices, readings, poems and if anyone else would like to speak.

The purpose of your family visit is that I learn everything about your loved one to enable me to write a meaningful, dignified and personal funeral tribute. Every tribute I write is individual – every person is so it makes absolute sense that their funeral is too.

I will be led by you and your suggestions and at the same time use my experience and knowledge to guide you. I will work closely with your Funeral Director to ensure I know everything about their arrangements.

Humanist funerals are non-religious by definition, however there can be a period of reflection where those with religious beliefs may say a silent prayer . It is important to remember that humanist funerals are welcoming to all.

I will provide you with a draft funeral tribute to approve – you can make as many changes and additions as you like.

On the day of the funeral you can expect me to arrive at the venue early so I can ensure that all the arrangements are in place. I will be waiting for you and the funeral director’s cortège to arrive and will be ready to deliver your loved one’s funeral tribute.

After the service I will remain for a short time to pass you the presentation copy of your loved one’s funeral tribute – this is yours to keep and has proven to be a great comfort as people move through into the next stage of their lives.

It is very important to remember that grief does not go away. I believe that as you carry on filling up your life after suffering a loss your grief may not get any smaller. But by surrounding it with your life and loved ones, it becomes softer and less raw.