Neil J Barnes

“You may forget but let me tell you this: someone in some future time will think of us.” – Sappho (c.610BCE – c.570 BCE)

One of the few things that unite us all is that we all die.  However, that death can come in many forms and with many feelings attached to it.  Creating a funeral ceremony for someone is a true privilege and, as each life is different, each ceremony must reflect and honour those differences.

Hi, I’m Neil, and I am a funeral celebrant with Humanists UK.

I was a headteacher for twenty-five years working with children from two years old all the way up to eighteen, and of course their families.  The most important part of that job is the relationship of trust you build with your families.  I hope this quality also shines through in my role as a humanist celebrant, where I interact with loved ones, families, and friends during what can be one of the most challenging times in their lives.

The process of creating a bespoke ceremony begins with a visit to put together as much information as possible about the deceased.  All those memories, stories, songs and poems that make you think of the deceased person and their life.

Because that’s the point of a humanist funeral, isn’t it?  Not to concentrate on death, but to celebrate life.  Celebrate the moments shared together and the memories of our loved ones.  Those connections that have been made throughout their lives. A chance to put together something special, which defines them, encapsulates them and something that will be looked back on with warmth and affection.

Humanism is also about inclusion and as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I would also like to think that I can offer special insight into funerals for other members of the community which recognises and celebrates our unique culture and individual identities.

This inclusive approach means that each funeral I conduct is deeply personalized, not only respecting wishes of the deceased and their families but also ensuring that their ceremonies reflect the rich tapestry of their lives. Whether it’s incorporating specific cultural traditions, favourite colours, or even beloved pets, the goal is to create a ceremony that truly resonates with the essence of the person we’re honouring. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, this can also mean creating a safe space where their relationships and identities are celebrated openly, providing comfort and recognition to those who mourn their passing.

I am happy to talk to you and help with any other questions or enquiries you may have.  Get in touch and in the meantime…be kind to yourself.