Ceremonies
Namings
Namings can be as formal or informal as you wish. The location might be your home or garden, a village hall, restaurant, outdoor area or a place special to you and your family. The focus is to welcome your baby or child officially within your family and group of friends and to make a commitment to your child to be the best parent you can be. It will also give you a chance to nominate ‘guide-parents’ or guardians for your child and for them to make their meaningful commitment to the upbringing of your child. The ceremony may contain readings and music, rituals, which are many and varied and of course, it’s a great opportunity for families and friends to get together for a party. It can be such fun!
Weddings
I really enjoyed my own wedding day, a few decades ago now. It was personal, home-spun, spontaneous, fun and friendly and it was very special to the whole family.
But how lovely to have planned the ceremony itself; to have made intimate decisions on the structure, readings, music, songs and rituals. How much more meaningful are the vows when they are yours only, carefully considered to reflect what you want to say to your partner and to your guests.
How fantastic to be able to choose the location of your wedding because it is somewhere special to you both: an architectural splendour or a rustic barn, a well-loved garden or a hill-top view, a village hall, woodland or beach; entirely your choice.
A humanist wedding ceremony can celebrate our uniqueness in a meaningful and wholly satisfying way. Whether you and your partner already have firm ideas or need much more guidance or whether you prefer tradition or innovation, the script and structure will be about who you are as individuals.
If you would like to see what a humanist wedding might look like and find out more, have a look at this video (see if you can spot me… I’m one of the celebrants featured!)
Funerals
Unfortunately so many people go to a funeral of a friend or member of the family and either find it dull and uninspiring or not at all appropriate to the person they knew.
A humanist funeral is, of course, a dignified and emotional occasion, often involving great sadness and grief. It is also, very importantly, a celebration of a life, comprising personal information and anecdotes which get to the core of the person who has died. A humanist funeral is an honest acceptance of the fact that this is the one life we have and that death is the inevitable and natural order of things. There will be no prayers or hymns, no reference to a god or an afterlife. A humanist funeral is, however, always fully inclusive and would always give opportunity for people of other faiths a moment for their own silent prayers or memories.
I spend much time and thought acquiring information from family and friends in order to make the ceremony personal, warm and loving. Listening to music and readings, which you have chosen because they capture the essence of the person you loved, and being reminded of happy times, can be a great source of comfort on the day and afterwards. Whilst some people may feel strong enough to do readings, songs or tributes in the ceremony, very often the family would prefer me to be their spokesperson. Unfortunately, there is limited time in a cremation ceremony and I have to make the family aware of this.
But there are alternatives to where and when you hold the ceremony. A memorial service held later on can allow for fuller contributions from family and friends and is often a more relaxed and celebratory occasion. Many people are realising that using buildings such as village halls, local theatres and even pubs, can bring the funeral ceremony back into the community which will help us all with a better understanding and acceptance of death as the inevitable end of life. There are also alternatives to a cremation ceremony: burials in cemeteries and indeed churchyards, or in green burial sites and I would be happy to be involved with these.
For those people who are terminally ill or simply want to plan their own funeral I would be honoured to help you to achieve the appropriate ceremony for you. When you have lived life with personal responsibility, maintaining a control over the manner of everybody’s farewells to you is a comforting conclusion to your life and of course a practical and emotional help to those you leave behind.
All ceremonies
You will have further questions about the ceremony you are looking for and no question is too trivial or insignificant. Please phone or email to set up a relaxed meeting, with no obligation on your part, when we can find out more about each other. Depending on where you live, this could be a face-to-face meeting, at your house or mine, somewhere comfortable midway, a phone call or Skype.
I look forward to meeting you.
Warm wishes,
Julie
01749 675490
juliebentleywright@hotmail.co.uk