As a funeral celebrant, my aim is to create a ceremony as unique as the person. I work predominately in the South Wales area but would be willing to discuss ceremonies further afield.

In my view, a funeral ceremony should strike a delicate balance between creating a safe space where people can grieve, express their emotions and collectively mourn whilst also celebrating the individual and their life in a way that is authentic and true to them. It allows people to come together and share an experience that marks the end of the person’s physical body and is often an integral part of the grieving process.

Non-religious funerals do not promote the idea of an afterlife which is often prominent in other funeral types, instead the primary focus is the person who has died. Providing a personalised service centred on the individual ensures that everyone in attendance connects with what is being said. 

My aim is to work with families and friends to co-create an authentic and bespoke send-off. This involves me meeting with those organising the funeral and having a deep conversation about the person; remembering them for who they were and discussing what was meaningful to them. This allows me to get a sense of the person and helps create a ceremony that is as unique as the person was

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Do I have to be a humanist to have humanist funeral?

Not at all. A humanist funeral is for anyone without religion who wants a funeral based on the perspective that every life is individual and valuable.  It’s the perfect option for people who want a sincere, personal reflection on the life of their loved one.

As a humanist, I don’t perform any acts of religious worship – but I understand that for some mourners faith may be important and comforting to them and as such I always allow time for private prayer. Equally, if you want to sing or play a much loved hymn because of the memories & associations it brings back, that is ok.

How is a Humanist Funeral ceremony prepared? 

If you would a chat about whether I am the right celebrant for you, or if you have any questions please do get in touch by email or by phone – I will never make you feel pressured into choosing me!

If you do decide you would like me to conduct the ceremony, we can check availability and discuss your plans and thoughts about the funeral.

Depending on your needs, we can conduct an initial meeting in person at your home or a suitable location, over the phone or over video technology. I usually meet with the person arranging the funeral but often other significant family members or friends also come along. We spend an hour or two discussing what kind of ceremony would be appropriate and what you would like to have included, including poetry, music and readings. If you are unsure, I can offer some tailored suggestions and ideas. We will discuss if anyone else might like to speak and the best way that I can support them to do this.

We then spend the majority of our time together discussing the person who has died; what their life looked like, what was important to them and I listen as you share significant memories and stories. This allow me to get to know the person through you meaning they can be reflected throughout the entire ceremony. I usually have enough to write a ceremony after one visit although I am willing to meet again if more time or consideration is needed.

I will then write the ceremony for you and you will have the opportunity to read and make amendments.

On the day, I will arrive early to liaise with staff and the Funeral Director (if you have one) to double-check that everything is in order and runs smoothly. I will conduct the funeral in the location of your choice with professionalism and warmth.

In the days after the funeral, I will email and post a copy of the script for you to keep.

What might a Humanist Ceremony look like? 

Although each ceremony is unique, they often follow a similar pattern and can look something like this:

• Introductory Music
• Welcome and Opening Words
• Thoughts on life and death
• Poetry or reading // by myself or family/friends
• Tribute // an outline of the person’s life and personality
•  Reflection // some quiet time to reflect on what you’ve heard, either in silence or with a more reflective piece of music
• The committal // when the curtains are closed or the coffin is lowered. This is often the most emotive part of the ceremony
• Closing words // including thanks and information about any wake or meet after
• Final music

I will support you throughout the whole process.

How long is a Humanist Funeral? 

Most crematorium chapels have specified time slots which typically allow 20-25 minutes with additional time to enter and exit. This might seem quite short but it is enough time to run a ceremony such as the one outlined above without feeling time pressure. If you are unsure whether this will be enough time, there is the option to arrange/book a double slot and it would be best to speak to the Funeral Director or the chapel about this.

Sometimes there may be two parts to a ceremony, for example at a burial where there is usually an indoor service and then a committal at the graveside. There are usually no specified time slots at the graveside or in other locations you may wish to conduct a ceremony (e.g. home, garden community centre, pub…) allowing for more flexibility, although weather and temperature may well be a consideration.

Finally, memorials – these can be even more flexible again and can be held anywhere with no time restrictions.

Can I choose my own music, readings or poetry?

Absolutely – typically there are three music pieces and two poetry / readings but you are able to choose what is appropriate. More often than not, the second piece of music which is placed in the middle of the ceremony is ‘reflective’, meaning its slower and calmer. The third piece or exit music is usually a little more upbeat – this helps with the emotional flow of the ceremony but again, you are able to choose what is appropriate.

How much does it cost? 

My fee is £195 – £210 to write and conduct a funeral. Please note, that for those arranging a funeral through a Funeral Director this cost is often already included. Whilst Funeral Directors often have a number of celebrants they use, you can request the person you want to lead the ceremony.

What if it’s your own funeral you’re thinking about?

I’m happy to talk about planning for your funeral  – be that in general terms, or if you already know your time is limited and you would like me to help you prepare the detail of it.  Articulating wishes before you die can really help loved ones through the difficult time to come. For more information, please click on Pre-Planning above.