Bereavement Grief and Mourning

Resources that may help with Bereavement, Grief and Mourning

 

There are few sites on the internet that list and reference Bereavement Resources. I have tried to create one here.

 

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On this there are links to Bereavement Organisations and other information about Grief and Loss. You will also find a very informative ‘Guide to Probate’ which includes all the other official and legal processes that you may need to work through and tries to take you through the process, step-by-step

This Page is not comprehensive but it is a good starting point. Please contact me if you have found this page helpful, or if you would like to suggest something to add (or if there are any broken links).

 

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Sections on this page

Bereavement Grief and Mourning – a simple explanation of the words and how they are related

Guide to Probate – You may not be sure what needs to be done to deal with all the legal things that have to be carried out; Probate, Registering the death, Who needs to be informed (officially) and how to go about it; The Will, The funeral, Dealing with the estate

Books – A very short list of four books. One aimed at a more adult level and three recommendations for children and young people’s books

Websites and Organisations – this section is split into several parts

  • The first section is a list of websites of organisations that provide general help and advice on bereavement
  • There is a link to an organisation that provides support following suicide
  • The third section is a list of organisations providing advice and support following miscarriage, stillbirth and neo-natal death, including Child death and help for young people
  • Links to religious organisations providing help and advice – perhaps you wouldn’t expect these links here but I have tried to explain more in that section of the page

Podcasts – a list of the podcasts which deal with Grief, Bereavement and Loss

Mesothelioma – a list of organisations and websites devoted to helping those dealing with loss of someone to this particular form of lung cancer

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Bereavement Grief and  Mourning

 

Wild Flowers in a Meadow

Wild Flowers – Mark Taylor

Bereavement is the rather formal term that describes losing someone or something close to you. It doesn’t say anything about how you may feel but it is useful because it conveys a simple message to other people. They know that if you have been bereaved, you are likely to be sensitive and sad and that they may need to be sensitive in their approach to you. It is a useful word to use for an internet search for help.

Mourning is not a term that is often used now, in its formal sense, except when an important person dies and ‘Official Mourning’ is declared. To describe someone as ‘in mourning’ is unusual, but it is what is happening when someone close is lost and you are mourning that loss.

Grief is a journey but neither its route nor length are certain. Some people may travel quickly along it and reach an end point that is good for them, for others the journey will continue; for everyone, it will bring about a change in the way that they see themselves and their lives. Everyone will reach some kind of understanding and everyone will progress along their journey through grief. It all takes time.

Many people feel that the funeral marks the point when they start on their journey through their changed situation in life, living without the person they loved but still loving them and missing them everyday.

I believe that the time I take with you and with the funeral that you are planning, is very important. I want to help you to get that journey started in the way that is best for you.

Grief is natural and unpredictable. Everyone is likely to grieve for a loss but everyone’s grief is unique to them and they will experience it in their own way. It may last weeks, months or years and there may come a point when you, or those around you may begin to wonder whether more professional help might be helpful. It is not a sign of failure to seek help, it is recognition of a need.

I hope that some of the information below may help some of you to grieve and to find relief, if that is what you are seeking.

You may find something here that helps you.

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Guide to Probate

This is a guide that has been put together and lists all the legal aspects of dealing with a  death. If you are not experienced in these things – and that is true for most of us – there are details of everything that needs to be done and how to go about it.

https://www.wrighthassall.co.uk/knowledge-base/a-detailed-guide-to-probate

 

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Books

Books for Adults

I can recommend one book that several people have told me about and that has helped them.

This is a book that has helped a few people I know, through very difficult times. It is informal and very accessible. It is not too expensive and I have several copies to give to anyone I think may really benefit from having it.

It is the kind of book that is not intended to be read from beginning to end, it is the sort to dip into and find something that helps.

The Grief Handbook, Bridget McNulty, Watkins Publishing (watkinspublishing.com)

ISBN: 978-1-78678-534-3 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-78678-535-0 (eBook)

 

 

 

 

Books for Children

I came across these two books, both written by Claire Shaw, specially for children who are coping with bereavement.

The first book: Love Will Never Die is written for younger children and, amongst other activities, helps them to build up a resource of special things.

There are also things to help them at school and that their school might use to assist as well. In fact, it may the the school that will wish to initiate this and liaise with the family.

 

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0995759634

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0995759633

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For teenagers and adolescents, bereavement can be especially hard because it adds another burden of emotion to an already difficult period. A time when they may have conflicting emotions about themselves, their friends, family and, although they might not admit it, their understanding of death.

A Mind Full of Grief is written for young people in this age group. Like Claire’s book for younger children, it does not have a linear narrative and it includes resources and simple advice, presented in a way that is aimed to be accessible and written at their level.

It is; ‘Filled with practical and honest information but without overloading.’

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0995759626

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0995759626

 

There is more information to be found on the CS Children’s Books website:

https://cskidsbooks.com/bereavement/

 

 

 

I don’t think that I can conclude this children’s book section with mentioning Badger’s Parting Gifts. It is now more than thirty-five years since this book by Susan Varley was published. It has been used by schools and families for many years and that it is still in print shows how important a book it remains.

It was one of the first books aimed at younger children and how the death of someone close may affect them. It provides a way of approaching death and broaching the subject, particularly that of an older person in their life, possibly a grandparent.

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1849395144

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849395144

 

 

 

Websites are presented below but here is a link to Child Bereavement UK

 

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Websites and Organisations

General Help and Advice on Bereavement

Cruse Bereavement Support

Cruse Bereavement Support and its counterpart Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland are the United Kingdom’s largest bereavement charity, which provide free care and bereavement counselling to people suffering from grief.

 

NHS Advice on Grief and Bereavement

This is good, sound, straightforward advice from the NHS. It is a really good starting point for anyone and it has a lot of good pointers to other sources of help

 

Marie Curie Advice and Help with Grief and Bereavement

This is a very comprehensive website, which is exactly what you might expect from this organisation. Some very useful links to other organisations and places. An excellent starting point for someone who feels that they might need extra help to cope with their feelings

 

Help Guide.org – Coping with Bereavement and Loss

This is a very comprehensive website that covers almost every aspect of bereavement in all its forms, loss and grief. It has information that is relevant to both Britain and the United States as well as other countries.

 

Nelson’s Journey – Helping Young People to cope with Bereavement

This is a Norwich based charity that is dedicated to helping young people in Norfolk cope with the loss of someone close to them. Although its remit is local, there are a lot of helpful information and resources that may be useful beyond that area

 

Mind Support for Bereavement

This is a lovely simple page that has some questions and answers about your feelings. It has a little advice and it has some really useful directions to help you.

Other useful links on the Mind website;

https://www.mind.org.uk/search-results/?q=grief#stq=grief&stp=1

https://www.mind.org.uk/search-results/?q=grief#stq=bereavement&stp=1

 

MacMillan Cancer Support – Cancer information and support. Supporting someone. Coping with bereavement

Some basic information about grief and bereavement on a very comprehensive website concerning all aspects of cancer

 

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Bereavement and Suicide

Papyrus

This Papyrus organisation is particularly aimed at suicide prevention. However, the work of the organisation also provides support for those who have been affected by someone close to them taking their own life

 

SOBS

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide is an organisation dedicated to helping those affected by a suicide. It has a helpline and local support groups, amongst many other resources

 

Samaritans

The very well-known organisation, aimed at suicide prevention but also very helpful for anyone who is troubled by their situation, including bereavement

 

Dandelions in the Field – Mark Taylor

 

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Child Death and Help for Young People

This is almost always a particularly intense and emotional event and the grief that follows can be devastating for all involved; parents, siblings, grandparents and even the professionals who may be involved

 

Child Bereavement UK

An organisation providing support for both parents and children affected by the death of a child.

See also the links available for schools on the ‘Useful Links and Bereavement Resources for Schools‘ tab on this website, where there are links to age appropriate resources for primary and secondary schools.

 

Petals

A charity dedicated to helping families who have experienced the loss of a baby. They provide counselling and support, as well as other services. There are links for parents and special groups for grandparents and other family members

 

Hope Again

This is part of Cruse but the website and links are specifically created to assist young people coping with bereavement and grief

 

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Neonatal Death and Miscarriage

The feelings that surround neonatal death, stillbirth and miscarriage can be just as intense as those felt from other types of bereavement.

I can speak from some personal experience. At the distance in time from which I can look back, it’s quite hard to say how useful the services offered by these organisations would have been to us, although I’m sure they would have helped. What I do remember is that, as a couple, many people seemed to expect that we would just smile, forget about it and carry on and that, as a man, I wasn’t really expected to have any feelings about it at all.

Thankfully, things have moved on, more help is available and more people understand the feelings that surround these events and are able to talk a little more freely. I’m sure that there are still things that could be improved.

Flooded Bridge

The Old Flooded Bridge through the Trees – Mark Taylor

 

Stillbirth Bereavement – Tommy’s

This is a very special kind of bereavement and it can evoke some very different sorts of feelings from other types of loss. This is a good place to look at for help in such situations

 

Netmums – Stillbirth Grief

Some simple and useful advice, with a lot of support and the potential for more support through the Netmums community

 

Miscarriage Grief – Tommy’s

Just like Stillbirth, grief from miscarriage can be very intense and different from other types of loss. Although it is very common, it is still your loss and it is no less tough to get through

 

Miscarriage Grief Support – NHS

There is support about grieving after miscarriage and sound practical advice about the health and other effects. Links to useful organisations.

 

The Miscarriage Association

All sorts of advice and support on miscarriage

 

SANDS

Stillbirth and Neonatal Death. This is a very comprehensive webpage for an organisation that offers a great deal of support and advice.

 

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Links to Religious Organisations Providing Bereavement Support

It may seem a little strange to find links to religious organisations on a Humanist website. However, no-one is immune to grief and, in the end, everyone has to find their own path through grief and mourning. I am not an evangelical Humanist and I know that everyone’s understanding of the world is different, so I don’t have a problem with adding these links.

I haven’t found it easy to discover very much for religious people looking for specific help and guidance, so it would be good if anyone could point me in the right direction.

 

Methodist Church – Key Resources on Bereavement

As the title of the page suggests, there is a list and links to other pages and organisations. There are links to other parts of the Methodist Church website dealing with more specific aspects of bereavement and how to interpret these from a religious standpoint.

 

Church of England – Pages on Grief and Bereavement

I may be doing the Church of England a disservice but I found it hard to find any pages that were specifically devoted to bereavement and grieving. However, there are a number of pages available for ministers and advice about funerals. Some websites that have been set up by particular churches and diocese. Perhaps someone may be able to correct my assumptions.

 

Baptist Union – Bereavement and Grief

This website is more for individual churches, rather than for individuals seeking help. It is a collection of resources to help churches assist people through the ministry of that church. Like the Church of England, there seems to be very little devoted to helping individuals seeking help for themselves.

 

Islamic Guidance – Bereavement and Grief

There are a number of pages devoted to this, unfortunately they don’t all seem to be linked to each other. If you search using the phrase; ‘Islamic guidance on bereavement and grief’ you will find quite a few other pages.

https://quranacademy.io/blog/practical-ways-to-deal-with-pain-and-grief-in-islam/

This page is about the rules of the faith concerning how to grieve, for how long and other guidance;

https://www.econdolence.com/learning-center/religion-and-culture/islam/islam-periods-of-mourning/

 

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Grief and Bereavement Podcasts

Many people find that information supplied in the form of podcasts can be helpful for many different causes. There are a number of podcasts which deal with Grief, Bereavement and Loss. Here are some websites which have compiled lists of these:

 

Irish Hospice Foundation Index of Podcasts

 

Cruse Bereavement Care Index of Podcasts

 

Grief Works – Julia Samuel on Apple Podcasts

 

There are many others – Search for ‘Podcasts on Grief and Loss/Bereavement’

 

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Mesothelioma Bereavement Resources

Mesothelioma is a very particular type of cancer that has a specific but unfortunately common cause – exposure to

Hill Fence

Hill in the Cheviots – Mark Taylor

asbestos. Whilst this is much more tightly controlled in Britain and many other countries, including the United States, a very large number of people are still affected through exposure in the past. This makes these links relevant today.

I have been asked by a number of support groups in the United States to include links to their organisations on this webpage. Where they appear to be useful to those people who are likely to look at this page, I have agreed to do so.

The links are to  information about Mesothelioma and Bereavement both in Britain and the United States.  The organisations in the United States have some information that may be pertinent only to the United States. However, other things contained here may be very helpful in other countries too.

 

UK Resources

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/mesothelioma

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/mesothelioma/

 

USA Resources

This is a section containing links to a number of organisations in the United States. Principally, they are for mesothelioma support but I have also added a link to a ‘Guide to Selling a House After the Death of a Loved One.’

If I have time, I may construct a page for United States bereavement support organisations, although it might be more useful on a completely different website – perhaps there is a company or organisation in the United States which might care to sponsor me to do that

 

Pleural Mesothelioma Center – Mesothelioma Support

 

Asbestos.Com – Coping with the Loss of a Loved One to Mesothelioma

 

Mesothelioma.Net – Grief and Mourning

 

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Selling a House After Death of a Loved One – This is an United States step-by-step guide to selling a house after a death. It has a lot of American terminology that may only apply in that country. There may also be variations according to the State laws in different parts of the country

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Ask me for advice or assistance

I am always happy to answer any questions you may have about ceremonies or arrangements, or anything related to the links on this page – even if you do not want me to take a ceremony. I will be pleased to help and advise as best I can – within my own personal limitations – which are many!

I don’t mind what you want to ask me about – I have been asked some strange and interesting questions over the years and I always do my best to answer them. Please contact me by telephone or email.

Mobile: 07779 187384

Home: 01543 264602

email: mark.taylor@humanistceremonies.org.uk

 

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