Your questions answered

How can we consider the environment when planning our ceremony?

Don’t forget to consider the environment when choosing symbolic actions. For example –

• Releasing lanterns can be dangerous to wildlife
• Letting balloons loose means that plastic ends up polluting our landscape
• Is it appropriate to cage birds just so that they can be released at your wedding?

There are so many things you can do that are even more effective and beautiful.
Try

• biodegradable ribbons and streamers
• planting trees
• scattering flower petals
• flying kites and spinners
• blowing bubbles

What symbolic actions should we choose for our ceremony?

Choose something that has real meaning to you as a couple or something that represents what you aspire to.

Perhaps you’re both musicians. Can you use your musical skill and passion to symbolise your aspirations?

What if you’re firefighters? How could you use fire to represent the heat in your hearts?

Are you and your partner into dungeons and dragons? Why not create a Dungeons and Dragons theme that also symbolises what you mean to each other?

For more ideas, take a look at the Symbolic Actions page on my dedicated Humanist Weddings website. Or just give me a call – 07771 595626. I’d love to help.

The main idea is – use your imagination and choose something that’s unique and personal to you.

Are humanist weddings legal in the UK?

Humanist marriages in England and Wales don’t yet have legal status, unlike in Scotland and Northern Ireland. In England and Wales, couples who want to have a Humanist wedding will often go to the registry office to take care of the legal formalities a few days before or after their Humanist Wedding Ceremony – their ‘real’ wedding.

Perhaps you don’t want a legal ceremony at all, but just want the public statement of commitment and celebration. There’s absolutely no reason at all why you can’t do this and still make it a meaningful and significant ceremony.

In the meantime, Humanists UK are campaigning hard for humanist marriages to be legalised in England and Wales and the signs are promising that they will soon fall in line with Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Why choose a Humanist Celebrant for your wedding ceremony?

Do you ever go to a wedding and get that feeling of déjà vu? Sometimes weddings can feel like they’ve been picked off the shelf. The couple’s names have been slotted into a template or the ceremony exactly follows the step-by-step guide in that bridal magazine you read at the dentist. If you’re reading this, then maybe you have already decided to have a humanist ceremony. So, why might you choose a Humanist Ceremony?

Your ceremony will be unique to you. As Humanist ceremonies are created by you and for you alone, your ceremony will be unique. There will never be another like it.

You’ll enjoy the support and commitment of me as your Humanist Celebrant, who will want to ensure that you have the best wedding ever. I’ll spend time with you finding out

what’s important to you
what your aspirations are as a couple
what values you want to express in your ceremony
what you want for the ‘tone’ of your wedding – warm, peaceful, loud, fun, family orientated, calm, vibrant, musical? It’s up to you.

Perhaps you’re not sure what you want. Maybe you have one or two ideas but they’re just not quite unique enough. I’ll work with you, carry out some research and use my twenty-two years of experience to create a ceremony that’s personal and made just for you.

This could be personalised, symbolic actions, such as a hand-fasting – a lovely way to share a message in a visual way, to involve your guests and to say something in a way that words cannot express. Or it may be a special reading or music, or perhaps making the absolute most of the special venue you have chosen. 

Where can a humanist wedding ceremony be held?

Your ceremony can be anywhere you want it to be. Unlike with religious or registrar-led ceremonies, there are no restrictions on where you have your ceremony (except for active religious buildings of course). You can have your wedding anywhere you fancy, indoors or out – with a contingency plan to allow for British weather! You may have to seek permission to use someone else’s land but otherwise, just decide where you want to get married and we can work out how best to use that space. How exciting is that?!

We want to get married abroad. Can we take you with us as our celebrant?

I’m always happy to take weddings overseas and have enjoyed several amazing venues!

What happens at a wedding ceremony?

Each ceremony is designed and written specifically for you – there’s no set format. But as a guide, you might include readings or poems, information about the two of you, why you’re choosing to marry and perhaps some music. You’ll make your vows or commitments to each other and maybe exchange rings.

You might not know where to start, but don’t worry. I’ll lead you through the process and will give you as much help and guidance as you need. I’ll advise and support you through every stage of your wedding ceremony – make sure the day goes well. Let’s talk about what you want and we’ll get creating and have fun along the way.

What does your fee include?

The fee will vary depending on the type of ceremony you’re choosing and the location. It can be between £500 – 700 plus any agreed expenses

The fee covers:

• A planning meeting to discuss the ceremony in depth
• Drafting and editing a personal script
• Attendance at a rehearsal at your chosen venue
• Delivery of the ceremony on the day itself
• A presentation copy of the script

How long does a humanist wedding ceremony last?

It depends on what you want to include, but most last around 20-45 minutes. Your ceremony can be as long or as short as you want it to be. It can be just short enough to say your vows or long enough to include all those elements that you want your friends and family to be involved in. Unlike religious or registry office marriages, there’s no restriction on the length of your ceremony (unless of course, you want to fit the ceremony to a single loop of the Liverpool Big Wheel!).

This is one of the things we’ll discuss when we meet.

Do you lead same-sex weddings?

Yes, I certainly do and have been doing for over 20 years.

We’re not actually humanists – or at least we don’t think we are. Can we still have a humanist wedding ceremony?

Yes. If you are non-religious and look to reason, empathy, and compassion in order to live an ethical and meaningful life, then you’re in the right place. Humanist ceremonies offer you a non-religious, personal, inclusive and meaningful way to celebrate your marriage.

The focus of your humanist wedding will be the two of you, your relationship and what you value. Underpinning it all will be the humanist view of long-term partnerships as being strongest when built upon support, equality and honesty.

Can we write our own vows?

Personal vows are often one of the highlights of a humanist wedding so, yes, I will absolutely encourage you to write or choose your own words, and will give whatever help and support you need to do so.

However, if you don’t want to write your own vows, then I can provide a range of sample vows for you to look through, including traditional and ‘earth vows’. You might want to use some of these or adapt them slightly – it’s entirely up to you.