Preparing for the Family Meeting

A large part of a Humanist funeral ceremony is the tribute—telling the story of your loved one’s life in a way that’s honest, meaningful, and personal. When we meet, I’ll gently guide you through the conversation, asking questions and listening carefully to what you share.

To help you feel prepared, you might like to look over the prompts below before our meeting. There’s absolutely no need to answer every question—just reflect on whatever feels most important to you. Some people come with lots of stories and details; others just speak from the heart in the moment. Both are completely valid. This list is simply here to spark thoughts and memories.

Biographical Details

• When and where were they born?
• What were their parents’ names and occupations?
• Did they have siblings? What was childhood like?
• Are there any standout stories from their youth?
• Where did they go to school? Any subjects or teachers they loved (or hated)?
• What happened after school—college, training, work?
• Where did they live during their life?
• Significant relationships, partners, spouses?
• Did they have children? (Names and years of birth can help build the timeline.)
• What was their career path? Any long-term roles or major achievements?
• What did they enjoy doing in their free time—hobbies, clubs, passions?

Their Character and Life

• What made them laugh? What made them angry?
• When were they at their happiest?
• How would you describe them in a few words?
• What were they proud of?
• If they had children, what kind of parent were they?
• What struggles did they face—and how did they handle them?
• Where did they like to go (on holiday, to relax, to celebrate)?
• What were they passionate about or devoted to?
• Any catchphrases, quirks, or memorable habits?
• What kind of music did they love? Books? Films or TV?
• Favourite food, drink, or places to eat?
• What were they like as a friend, colleague, or neighbour?
• Do you have a vivid memory or mental snapshot of them that feels especially ‘them’?
• How would they like to be remembered?

Contributions to the Ceremony

• Would you like others to speak during the ceremony?
• Are there any readings (poetry, prose, song lyrics) you’d like to include?
• Is there particular music you’d like played?
• Would anyone like to perform music live?

Other Things to Consider

• Will there be a gathering afterwards? If so, where?
• Would you like to suggest a charity for donations in their memory?
• Is there anything else you’d like to include in the ceremony?

There’s no right or wrong way to remember someone. However much or little you want to share, I’ll work with what you’re comfortable with and craft a ceremony that truly reflects the person you’ve lost—and the love that surrounds them.